All The Single Ladies!

This is for all the single ladies out there, because I know you feel me.

Dating is very confusing.  There are so many self-help books on the subject, usually with conflicting views, that where do I even start?  Do I call him?  Do I not call him?  Give him another chance or strike out after one infraction?

I think most of us single women have a general set of "guidelines" for what  we want or what we avoid.  I admit, I'm very superstitions, so my "guidelines" probably seem totally ridiculous to most people.  But I swear these rules didn't come out of thin air!  Certain seemingly inconspicuous things kept coming up over and over again for me until I finally decided I was cursed. 

1) Scorpios.
I've posted about this before, over at DIK.  I'm sure a lot of people think I'm crazy for it, throwing out a whole group of eligible men just because of their birthday.  And I don't even believe in astrology.  I just really really think that any Scorpio and I are doomed.  Trust me, there's tons of precedent for this rule.

2) Pianists.
Think Sugar and her saxaphone players in Some Like it Hot, except without Tony Curtis and me riding a speed boat into the sunset.  Yep, all that's left is that squeezed out tube of toothpaste.
3) Libertarians.
It has nothing to do with the fact that our political views clash.  I just have a long history of getting involved with Libertarians and then having it go sour as a Lemondrop.
4) Blonde blue eyed guys who wear camo and shoot guns.
I don't know if this actually belongs on here, but since that's the exact image of all of my ex's, I'm voting I steer clear of these fellows for a while.
5) Andrews.
I know this probably sounds unfair since it's not like all the Andrews out there named themselves, but I haven't met one yet who hasn't tried to pull one over on me.  They're like magnets for bad karma.  I don't care how you choose to use it- Andrew, Andy, Drew- if it's your name, keep on walking.